In
Days of Yore a True Student would Wander Afar in Search of Wisdom.
One
Student, wandering towards the Mysteries of the East, happened to encounter
a True Sage, and apprenticed himself.
This particular Sage was far ahead of his time, especially in the Mysteries of Mathematics. The Student became
enthralled
(well, there was little difference in the duties of thralls and
apprentices in Those Days).
After much teaching, a Culminating Event occured. "Behold", announced the Sage, "for I have discovered a truly
remarkable
number, which simultaneously exists and doesn't exist!"
"Please,
Master," begged the Student, "enlighten me."
"You have been well trained in the Numbers Prime; what would you say is the Opposite of a Prime?", questioned the
Master,
sagely.
"'A Prime is a number perfectly divisible by no number but itself (ignoring One)'", quoted the Student, who paused to
reason,
"so its Opposite must be a number perfectly divisible by every number but
itself (not ignoring One)."
"Excellent",
responded the Master. "What is the number?"
"I
have no idea", bemoaned the Student. "How can a number not be perfectly
divisible by itself?"
"When the quotient is nonsense", explained the Master. "For exercise, start with one hundred, and divide it by ninety-
nine
and all smaller numbers. Begin!"
After a while the Student looked up, still puzzled. "All these fractions are hard to work with, but I think I see a
pattern.
The quotients are growing! But what does it mean?"
"Continue
dividing", commanded the Master, "and when you reach One, begin dividing
by the Least Fractions."
And eventually the Student divided one hundred by one half, one third, one fourth, and so on, far into the night,
and
finally the light dawned.
"The quotients grow ever faster!", enthused the Student. "even as the divisors shrink towards nothing! So if I actually
divided
by Nothing...the Answer would be Everything!"
"BUT DIVISION MUST YIELD A SINGLE ANSWER.", boldy thundered the Master, "IF YOU CAN OBTAIN
MULTIPLE ANSWERS WHEN YOU DIVIDE BY NOTHING, THEN YOU MAY NOT DIVIDE BY NOTHING!"
In a more moderate tone, but effusing pride, the Master continued: "To think of Nothing as being a number is to imagine
an existence for Pure NonExistence! Yet if we accept such UnNatural imaginings, we can proceed to show that Nothing
can be perfectly divided and multiplied and added and subtracted by every ordinary number. Surely this means that
Nothing can indeed be a number, also. Yet it cannot divide anything, including itself, which is so unnatural as to be truly
remarkable.
Thus I have given a Name to this opposite of a prime, and it is Emirp."
But the Student did not entirely believe the Master. "The Logic is so Elegant", he countered. "If I could divide by Emirp,
I
would obtain ALL the answers! I Swear I Will Forever Serve Anyone
Who Teaches Me How To Divide By Emirp!"
And
with that outburst, the Student parted company with the Sage.
Time
passed, and the Student sought. It has been said that anything sought
diligently enough will be found; it is true.
Having thereby become a Master in his own right, his Oath of Service led him back to his homelands. Everywhere he
went, he demonstrated division by Nothing, yet almost no one would believe it was that simple. But See: A person who is
ill is also partly healthy; divide that health by Nothing, and its quotient will overwhelm allergies and cancer and blindness
and plegic conditions and disease and more. Divide a few loaves and fishes by Nothing, and the quotient can feed multitudes.
Even
a man three days dead has some Residual Life Force; divide that by Nothing,
and he can emerge from his tomb....
--Vernon Nemitz